Sometimes the hardest thing to see is the thing right in front of you.
The last 36 hours for me have been a bit different. I have had to travel back to England for the funeral of a cousin who died suddenly a few weeks ago. These things always present mixed emotions. Memories and consequences usually. The journey is a 270 mile challenge and to accommodate this, I rose at 3am and was travelling at 3.30am arriving there at around 8.30 so as to give myself some time before the funeral service at 12.30. The funeral was standard christian fare, with the presiding clergy a little too fond of his own voice for my liking along with the usual opportunity for a little “bible wisdom” being offered to the packed crematorium. I was a little surprised at this because my cousin never seemed to be fond of the christian religion, so I suspect this was more to do with the family’s wishes as opposed to his own, especially as he hadn’t arranged a will before his sudden demise.
After the hour service, everyone moved on to a local pub for the wake. This was the first time that I had been in the company of a number of my immediate genetic family for a while. It was, as is usual in these sort of things, interesting to see how each of us is aging, with the usual comments around how it is usually only at funerals or weddings that people get to see each other now-a-days.
Before moving to Scotland, I had only ever lived within a 5 mile radius of the place of my birth. I was rooted in the locality and the landscapes. I didn’t anticipate this to have any bearing on what I would experience. People knew I was now living in Scotland with a number of them asking if I was eligible to vote in the upcoming Scottish independence referendum (yes, I am) and how I saw things regarding that particular issue. I am usually more of a people watcher than an overactive participant on social events (that doesn’t mean I am withdrawn in any way) but I do like to make the effort to talk to people who I haven’t seen for a while and this was not to be an exception.
One of the first I spoke to was my great-uncle who saw action for a number of years as a rear gunner in the Lancaster bombers in the second world war. He has written his memoirs and I have a copy of them, which I hugely enjoy reading, so to see how he was and speak to him was one of the highlights of my day. There were a couple of other family members that I was keen to speak to and took the opportunity to do so.
I hadn’t really expected of myself that living in a different locality would have any bearing on how I experienced interactions with my family. But right from the start, I seemed to be aware of a different “feeling” around them. It really became apparent whilst speaking to a cousin of mine. He is what I would term as “hugely gregarious” in so much as he knows how to have a “good time”, usually involving copious amounts of alcohol and gets progressively louder as his alcohol intakes increases accordingly. We were having a good conversation around several subjects when some other relatives then joined us. I have experienced how the “ambiance” of a situation can change with the inclusion of specific people. I have always took it for granted that, to an extent, it’s usually just a personality trait or that certain personalities when around each other can sometimes “take over” a situation, usually to the exclusion of some people there. Therefore, when this started to manifest before me, it wasn’t a great surprise.
However the re-emergence of my Druidry since living in Scotland appears to have led to connections being expressed differently from previously. My previous experiences would have led me to the conclusion that I have just described, personalities. This time I was aware of something else.
There is no logical or scientific explanation for what I am about to describe, it is entirely personal to me and I make no apology for it as I am not trying to justify or rationalise it. But as these other people collected around us, I was aware of another presence and not a human one. It came from the environment, in my mind’s eye, it sort of emerged from the ground. And it didn’t emerge until these certain personalities were all together. It seemed to strengthen its presence with the collection of these personalities. In fact, it appeared that it was, to a large extent, dependant upon them, its influence on the situation creating a more energetic environment. This energetic field resulting in the unknowing participants getting increasingly more animated.
As I eluded to earlier. previously I would have just put this down to how people “spark” with each other. A personality thing. But not this time. My initial thoughts as to how or why this should be is that the disconnection from the locality of my birth has formed new connections within me that now “enable” me to experience things differently in those localities. Whatever the reason, I experienced this for the first time. I can’t honestly say that the presence was anthropomorphic as such, not something I would have said came from an individual. I’m not even sure that beyond the circumstances of certain personality traits being together, that it probably exists in its own right. It sort of appeared as a “consequence” of the situation. An energy drawn from the Earth by the collective accumulation of certain human characters with certain character traits.
Another thing to mention here, is that I didn’t experience any sort of personal threat from this energy, I sensed that wasn’t its “purpose”. I just viewed the situation unfolding before me. And as you may guess, it is giving me some material with which to ponder over in the near future.